Hi everyone. I'm 21 years old and very new to the occult. I have never had an interest in the occult and Satanism until some somewhat paranormal things began happening to me in December/January. I was actually first a Christian in my younger years because of my parents, and then an atheist.
My interest in the occult was first piqued after after learning about the goddess Astaroth/Ishtar/Inanna and entering her name in a google search. It might be surprising to some of you that I first found out about Astaroth in a video game called Catherine. You don't get to actually see Astaroth in the game, she is just a mysterious voice for the entire game and you don't actually find out who she really is until near the end of the game.
skip to 6:10 and watch for 2 minutes
I liked her personality and my curiosity was piqued, so I googled her name and came to the description of her on several sites.
My passion in life is the conservation of lions and hands-on interaction with them, to learn about how they behave and prove that they are sentient, intelligent beings capable of love and friendship just like us. I'm a lion handler in training and worked on a lion conservation project several times in Zimbabwe, where I interacted hands on with captive-bred lions, walking with them through the bush as part of their pride, and guiding them to practice their hunting skills and gain experience from their natural environment, so they can eventually be released into the wild. So when I read that Astaroth's/Ishtar's sacred animal was the Lion, I was even more intrigued. Most people don't know this, but lions are incredibly endangered/close to extinction, having suffered an over 90% population decline in the past 40 years. My life's mission and dream is to help restore their numbers and eventually move to Africa permanently, buy a patch of land and turn it into a wildlife reserve mainly for conservation of lions and other big cats. I want to live out my life with lions, as I consider them better company than humans.
After I had read a little about Astaroth/Ishtar in early December, I eventually forgot about it entirely for a month/month and a half, it was just a passing interest I suppose. But around mid January, I had a dream about Astaroth/Ishtar, where she said something to me. I don't remember the dream at all apart from that Astaroth was definetly part of it, and it had an importanting feeling to it. Her voice did not sound anything like in the game, and the dream was not related to the game in any way apart from Astaroth. So I definitely do not believe I was merely having a dream about the game. All I can actually remember from the dream are several small fragments. One was that Astaroth revealed some kind of revelation. The second was that what she told me was important, but I can't remember what it was.
Astaroth appeared as a female in the dream, obviously, and the environment/background of the place we were in had a pleasant blueish aura to it. She might have been also clothed in blue, but I can't remember. I also can't remember what her face looked like. She clearly introduced herself as the entity known as Astaroth/Ishtar, ie it wasn't just some random woman appearing in my dreams and telling me things!
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Though I do not remember which one of her many names she used. She also might have been standing on a pedestal as she was speaking to me, or we might have both been standing on a pedestal. Don't know if that symbolizes anything.
At the same time I first found out about Astaroth/Ishtar, occasionally immediately after I wake up (in the first 15 - 20 seconds after I have opened my eyes), I see writing covering my bedroom walls. I can't make out what it says and don't know what language it's in. It eventually fades after 15 - 20 seconds, sometimes longer. I am definetly not still dreaming when I see this writing, as it has happened many times now. Could this be related somehow?
One night after I closed my bedroom door, I turned around from my computer a minute or two later and found that the door was wide open. It can't of been the wind or anything like that, as my windows were closed and I shut the door properly (ie did not leave it slightly open). I think this happened twice that night.
When I was in my teens, sometimes when I woke up during the night I would look to the side of my bed and see a dark female figure standing there. She seemed to be made out of pure darkness, blending it with the darkness in my room, but clearly visible at the same time. Her appearance was the exact same every single time this happened, so I don't think I was merely imagining things. I would get scared and hide my face in my blankets and eventually fall asleep again. I have been told by someone on another forum that this may have been a human spirit I was seeing, but I would love to get a second opinion just in case.
Also, since I first found out about Astaroth/Ishtar, my life has changed completely. I had been suffering from severe depression and OCD since I was 15 (almost 22 now), and it was particularly rough near the end of last year. I didn't notice it at the time, but after I had the dream with Astaroth, I began feeling more empowered and happier. Two weeks ago I was able to completely stop taking the anti-depressants I had been taking for the past 7 years. When I've tried in the past to stop them, I end up turning into a wreck with even worse depression, uncontrollable crying etc, but this time I was able to stop them with no problems, and feel even happier without being on them! At the same time, I have had an amazing new opportunity opened to me which is helping me achieve my financial goals of buying land in Africa.
I would be very grateful for your opinions on this and what it may mean. If I wanted to contact Astaroth/Ishtar, how would I go about doing this, what kind of meditations/rituals should I begin etc?
Also, is Astaroth/Ishtar/Inanna the same entity as the Ancient Egyptian Goddess Sekhmet? They seem to share a lot of similiarities.
Though I do not remember which one of her many names she used. She also might have been standing on a pedestal as she was speaking to me, or we might have both been standing on a pedestal. Don't know if that symbolizes anything.
